on my own

"The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time." - Abraham Lincoln


Abe Lincoln was a wise man. (I think I already told you that, but it's worth sharing again). 


I graduated from college 3 years ago, it seems like a lifetime ago. When I graduated, I distinctly remember like I felt I had to figure out the rest of my life. Just a little overwhelming! Feeling like I had to find the career which I would have for the rest of my life, deciding where to live, what kind of person I wanted to be was a little much to handle. Add to that this huge transition of being in college (being grown up without any rules or responsibility) and moving home to live with my parents and pretend to be a grown up. 


Isn't that how it happens? As soon as you graduate from college you turn into a grown up and become a part of the "real world." 


It wasn't easy. I felt lost for a good long while until I felt I was making any progress. I found a full time job at a winery that I loved and met a wonderful group of people. I stopped hating the town I grew up in, I got to coach softball and drink wine all day at work. 


And after all of that, out of nowhere it seems, I decided to move to Seattle. Nothing was holding me back, it was a good a time as any. I didn't want to look back one day and wonder "what if?" 

It was almost exactly a year ago that I decided it was time to move to the Northwest. I moved my entire life to another city 850 miles away. I wanted a change and I wanted to do it on my own. Looking back, I often wonder what I was thinking. What kind of crazy person leaves her family and her friends and sunshine to go to a place where it's grey 300 days a year? Maybe I thought it was time to move on, maybe I had to know I could survive without my parent's help. 


Looking back seems to be easier than looking forward. The future holds so many unknowns, so many questions. The past is easier to understand, easier to make the pieces fit together. Oh, that's why I moved here (independence and confidence), that's why I flew home in October (to meet this really great guy), that's why life is so hard sometimes (it all pays off in the end). 


Three years ago if someone had told me that the future comes one day at a time, I wouldn't have been able to grasp it. Sure, it's a nice thought. It's difficult to completely comprehend until you're able to say it and know for sure that it's true, because you've experienced it for yourself.